She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dicks are not precious.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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