guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
