My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
