I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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