My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
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His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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