? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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