I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
