Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Two words: nipple clamps
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