Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you win again, gameday.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
