he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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