my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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