I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
as a side note pls kill me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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