Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
