she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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