you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
