I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
