I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
