Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
