i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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