you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
