Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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