Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
