I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
