It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
