i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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