I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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