Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
