I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
