Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
