Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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