My brain says no but my pants say off.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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