apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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