There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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