I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
