maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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