There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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