the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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