she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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