Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
