did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
