quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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