Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
