I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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