Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
