Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
