My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
