I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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