i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
