I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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