Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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