fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
