if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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