Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
