420 ftw
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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