I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
