just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
