marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
false alarm, still single
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
