He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
