i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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